Okay..so I met the girlfriend and I must say of all the girls my brother has brought home ( which in all fairness to him hasn’t been a bunch, enough, but not like it could be), this girl was actually very nice. We had a great time just hanging out, Friday night pizza and beer sitting around reminiscing about how he got the name Q-tip head and all of the things we used to torture each other with when we were younger. It was great, minus the Liza Minnelli want-to- be that showed up with my brothers best friend looking like a sausage squeezed into her dress, didn’t have a clue about anything, and made the snooty comment to my brother that she couldn’t believe he wanted to hang with us instead of going out with his best friend and his fake id’ carrying twit of a girlfriend as we were “old, and would be in bed, like, by 9:30″. Don’t even get me started on her.
Saturday, hung out, had to do some grocery shopping for a BBQ we were having. Fast forward to Saturday night. Let me preface this by saying, I hate being that loud group of people in the apartment complex that has everyone complaining for being to loud. And let me just make note before I move forward that I mentioned this a number of times to my fellow party people. So my brother thinks it would be a good time for D (that is his girl) and I to “bond” at the grocery store while the men went out a played pool. For some reason S had it in his head that he could get my brother into the bar (which he did, because as you can guess, my brother is not, shall we say, of age yet.” I would have never attempted this feat because in my mind, it is just wrong. you need to earn your dues and quite frankly I don’t think you have had enough crap to deal with in life until you are 21, which enables you to get totally bombed, guilt free.) Anyhow, that is for another blog. 
So they go out, get toooootttallllyyyyy hammered and come meandering back to the house around 10:30. They were supposed to be home around..ohhh…6:30 tops. so they are hammered, a couple of boneheads, walking back to the house. The were loud. rowdy. yelling at each other about who’s the man, who got their ass beat at pool etc, etc. They also proceeded to get into a beer spitting fight on my porch (yes, I am so proud of them at this point and I think D is ready to bolt for the door because she has never seen my brother get drunk, therefore missing out on the fact that he giggles like a little schoolgirl in church when he is blitzed). Anyyyhooowwww…I keep telling them, be quiet. I am going to kill you if you don’t shut up, blah blah blah, you know, the multiple empty threats that just make them look at me like I am nuts and burst into fits of mysterious we -are -to- drunk- to -know- what -we -are- laughing -at -giggles. So then the doorbell rings and here is a cop at my door (funny how they sobered their ass up then) telling me that he has gotten numerous complaints about us and had already tried to find our place once until he just sat at the edge of the apartments and followed the noise ( and yes I was nominated to answer the door because I was the only one who had not been drinking) and that if he has to come back it is going to be all over, and we will be fined. so I get the boneheads inside, tell them they are grounded and it is time for them to sleep. Which brings us to the walk to the garage to get the mattress that they decided my brother and his girl absolutely had to sleep on. (nothing like seeing two grown men, one of them being your brother wandering off into the dark together playing 007) So on the way back they are laughing so hard that they can’t hold the mattress and it ends up doinking S in the eye, which I think almost made my brother pee his pants. OH, and it was raining. makes me wonder where their brain cells went sometimes. So let me end this on a positive note. The cops never had to come back, S got his ass beat by a mattress, and I swear my brother peed his pants and just didn’t want to fess up. But I loved the girlfriend, despite her comment after the cop left that she was “really worried becasue she was already on probabtion” 
And if you were wondering, no we didn’t get around to BBQ’ing. 
